Double-edged sword

It is very much not about moving on because I know it.

I felt so complicated.

She's like the rain when the sun is soaring high in the sky.

What happened last year was still so fresh in my mind.

Those feelings never really faded.

Even there was a period of time I totally wiped her off my mind, it worked but not until we came over to China.

I know I'm being ridiculously stupid ,it was really hard to change my perception of her as someone I like to just being friends.

I wasn't even looking for chances.

I don't know what I want.

That day, she was skyping the bf in front of me.

I couldn't help it, I dropped the fucked up face straight which I didn't intend to at all.

This is the part I couldn't understand myself, why bother?Just why?

On a side note, I found myself suffering from mild depression.

No worries for now, I'm still wise as ever and strong as the great wall of china.

I'm just really unhappy,really really unhappy.

As of today, my academics are not affected,yet,hopefully never will. (I still want to go UK)
I'll elaborate more on that next time.
Till then.Adios.