Aftermath

It's been long but not forgotten.
The blogger bookmark is just few inches away but I was reluctant.
I've been good,like really good ever since I go back and burning down bridges with some people.
I got to say I'm almost done with being pessimistic on things happening around me, instead more of a realist. You could say I'm jaded or whatever descriptions out there that fill in the blanks.
A year abroad and away from the land, friends and families was another leap of faith I took within 2 years. Definitely not regretting it, it was rough at one point but I would say it's part of growing up.
You might think studying abroad or enrolled into a well-known-atas-prestigious university was something and people there are highly intellectual.To be honest,NO.
No shots fired, but if you're hungry for a bullet, let it penetrate.
All I can say is you got brains on the book but doesn't mean you got brains on life
Perhaps just me not being able to accept certain culture or people there? I let you be the judge.
It's a very wide discussion but no I'll let your hands-on experience do the talking.\

So what's up before the year ends? I hope I could bring some good news, it's been too long.
The curse has to end.

Before I go missing again.
In case I get so selfish, forgive me.
In case I get so mean, forgive me
In case I get so jerk, forgive me
In case I get so fake, forgive me
After all, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive
(;

Adios.

冲动

对不起，我又要做傻事了。
这一切可能最后没有成果，
但是珍贵的就一定需要付出。
最后一次，好吗？

Blind investment

Let it be by choice,fate or coincidence,
Those who knew will know how hard I've been trying;
Those who knew will know why I have to try;
Those who knew will know what I'm looking for.
but here comes the question.
What do I expect;
What do I do when it fails;
What if I'm nothing but a fool;
What if I'm just being taken for granted;
What if I just needed a companion.

I feel you man.I fucking feel you.

Adios.

Confession

I have a confession to make.

I broke my vow to be respectful.

I told myself long time ago by any means always be the gentleman.
I did stuff that I regretted on my first relationship and here I would like to tell you I'm sorry again.
Now, I sinned again.
Trust is something I looked highly on.But that day, I betrayed myself , being so intrusive was never my intention until jealousy took over me.
Excuse I had in mind : You gotta do whatever it takes to protect yourself, love is greedy.
If I ever have the chance to tell you, I will. And I know that's the end of everything.
I will not deserve anything.
For now, I'll repay for what I've done with what I can do,at least.

Birthday,Not

Happy Birthday Dear Self.

It wasn't easy to make this far.

21st birthday sounded like a big deal but nah, I didn't have much of a celebration.

Lucky enough to have myself staying over at a friend's place instead of rotting in Nottingham alone where everyone has left for Easter vacations.

Mum asked me to get myself a significant present and god knows what should I get.

Maybe I should give myself a proper "ceremony" to welcome myself stepping into the 21club?lol

Your happiness shall be the best gift.

Adios.Update again soon.

Never felt so disconnected with everyone.
Wonder how's everyone doing.

Return

Finally back to homeland.

It was the first time I left home for more than a month, definitely didn't regret at all.

Maybe a little perhaps?Taking exam in China.

You always hear people saying China is a highly competitive country, and guess what, it is what as it's described.
If you think you're one hell of a student,try putting yourself among the China people and you're nothing.Talented and smart people are everywhere, it takes more than just effort in studies to strive there.However,the sad thing is , the rich will become richer. All they need is a degree/Masters and they will be placed in the government sector with a high pay provided the parents/family have connections out there. Did I mention before that Nottingham University in China is the only UK-based university there? Basically students here are filthy rich until the level you can't imagine. Those who can't enter local prestigious universities , they will choose to come here. Not to say that they're incompetence, just the supply is more than demand.

I've been asked about how was it living on my own, I mean everything on my own like laundry,cleaning, food and stuff. And why am I not surprised? I lived with no problems at all.

Living alone was never a problem for me, I've trained myself enough, I've went through a lot.

If you want to survive out there, you need to do what you gotta do.

I swear doing laundries waste a lot of time and I'm not liking it still,especially drying them.

Now I'm done with China and next comes U.K.

You'll have this feeling that leaving for the first time is easy, second time within a short time, it's many times harder.

I sense some hard times coming,exciting isn't it.

Till next time.Adios

Still fighting monsters in the head