I think i should write monthly,like a monthly report?I'm just too lazy to write sometimes but tonight the urge is here!But first Happy birthday to me tho it was around 2 weeks ago.Officially 19 now,another year closer to 20.Pretty excited and scared I would say,things are just starting to get real.
Nope,nope,nope I didnt really celebrate my birthday cause it was during A2 trials,yeah screw that,it totally ruined my mood hahaha.Still thank you to my college mates who bought me a cake,love you guys!Starting to cherish these kind of lil stuffs in life.Be grateful i tell myself (:
Lately,I had been thinking what kind of person am I cause sometimes Im confused myself.I tend to change my thinking from time to time but not having a fixed constant.You could say that Im a person who follows the flow and deal with things accordingly,but I find it isnt really a good approach nowadays,more like leading me to troubles.Sometimes I cant make a solid decision,I always doubt myself and that's when my self-confidence drops below the line.A lot of work need to be done after A-levels!Time to brush up myself and face the reality.
I believe people do wonder how important they are towards the others,at what place do they stand and what role are they in.Something unpleasant about this is that people get to grade you and of course you get to grade them back.I guess this is how life works?It's a system.
Yeah I do grade my friends and dont tell me you dont cause you're a fucking liar.But please sometimes, dont leave them behind once their job is done,that feeling is fucking awful.Not trying to say I didnt make such mistakes,in fact I did a few times and people did that to me too.Just avoid if possible,you can save a lot of hearts from breaking.
Have you ever thought of what would happen if one day you just make up your mind and being real honest towards people around you.How life will change and will they look at you at a different perspective.It takes up a lot of courage to be honest because sometimes you wont know what's going to happen after that.Always expect the unexpected and prepare for the worst of it.I always tried to tell my friends what's in my mind despite hurting their feelings or whatever,yeah sorry my friend,i hope you will understand what's my motive hahaha.
I can be a very good friend and also a very bad friend (:
Learning how to deal with people is very important,tolerating with people isnt an easy job,you can get over it once but not everytime.There are a few occasions where I really cant stand a friend of mine,you dont complain people being an ass when yourself is being one in front of me,grow up!I will not hesitate to correct you tho.
I did realize I cant accept things that I find it "like-duh-of-course-" being a major problem or something fascinating,I might just get freaking annoyed,well that's my problem,no worries haha.
I really love midnight talks,spilling words out from the bottom of the heart,no boundaries at all,share things that you wont even mention during the day.Friends like that are really great!
Met my Indian friend that day during SABIU2014,we had a walk around the school compound and reminiscing those times when we were in high school.High school was like a dream,a very short and quick one,at certain times i still cant accept that i graduated 2 years already.Back then ,life can be so carefree,you dont have to be worried on so many things.Now,if you're planning to be carefree ,you can just go home and hug your bolster.I promised myself to spend more time on future planning this year,its time to stop fooling around and get things done.Games?Would have to get rid of that habit from time to time.So far so good i guess?
If you think you know me very well,then you're totally wrong.Yes,from the surface of it I may looked like the person you hang out with everyday,but if you really know me,you wont even judge me that way.I know people DGAF but really cant stand it when they act all like "Hah i know you're that kind,this and that",come on,you cant always have the same mind set all the time right?Well,I cant control people's mind right (:
Until now,I still cant find anyone who understands me like she did,seriously hahaha,Yes,Im complimenting her tho it was the past.Well,Im happy for her right now, being all good.Been a long time since we last met,maybe a meet up after A-levels.Sounds good?Hah.
Since I have forgotten what i wanted to write,thats all for now,adios (:
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